My name is Harry, not James
by Bianca Ocean
Summary: one-shot Avemtilla's disappearance challenge; Harry is bitter and angry, when he disappears and returns with a new zest for life, is the new teacher to thank?


Disclaimer: any characters from HP do not belong to me, they belong to J.K. Rowling. This is my one-shot challenge story, hope you like!  
  
Harry was wandering through Hogwarts, unsure of himself. He was constantly feeling a barrage of emotions now, from sadness to bitter anger. The only person to call him family, his godfather, was killed. Now, Voldemort still on the loose, forced to have spent the summer at the Dursley's, he was back and still angry.  
With extreme skill, Harry had managed to avoid Hermione and Ron's incessant questions about his feelings. If he had to hear, "it will get easier over time," once more, he was going to hex the lot of them and never look back.  
It was the first morning back that Harry got a strange surprise. Professor McGonagall had called him into her office and handed him a short piece of parchment. "I do remember your want to be an Auror, Harry, and I do recall telling you of Professor Snape's refusal to take any student into his N.E.W.T. potions class without an 'Outstanding' O.W.L. I am also aware of your grade in potions."  
Harry's face burned and he suddenly found that the cracks in the stone floor were quite fascinating. "Yes," he mumbled.  
"I have managed to pull strings seeing as your O.W.L. grade might have been slightly...bias," she said this last word with a small sneer on her face. "We, in fact, have had an excellent 'alternative' potions teacher working at this school and she has been more than happy to grant my request."  
Harry looked up at that news. "Alternative teacher?"  
McGonagall nodded once. "She is a great teacher, you should be happy about this."  
He couldn't find the words to thank her, but he did his best. "This is...great news Professor! Does this mean I still have a shot at being an Auror?"  
The old woman couldn't help but smile a little. "I think you will be one of the best." She cleared her throat and resumed her stern face. "Your class will start this afternoon, at three."  
"Does the class have any other students," he ventured as he placed his hand on the doorknob.  
"One other," she said with a small smile. "Neville Longbottom."  
  
Harry decided to keep his news to himself. He loved sharing classes with his best friends, but for once he had something to himself. Ron had achieved an 'A' on his O.W.L. for potions but he refused to even try to convince Snape to let him in the class. Hermione, as much as Snape hated it, achieved one of the highest grades in the class and was therefore welcome for as long as she pleased.  
At lunch Harry decided not to share his news with his friends and concentrated hard on looking as glum as he had been.  
"Did McGonagall give you your other class," Hermione ventured gently.  
Harry gave one short nod. "She gave me...an extra DADA...to practice by myself." He looked back down at his plate signaling an end to the conversation. To his relief, his friends let the subject drop and began talks of the Order and plans that they had overheard. Harry didn't care about things like that and didn't care if he ever stepped foot into Grimauld place again.  
Lunch ended quickly and Harry went to his other classes as planned. He watched the clock anxious, as it seemed to take ages to reach three. The signal for DADA finally sounded and he threw his books into his bag. "See you," he said to Ron quickly and bolted out of the room.  
When he was sure he was alone, he checked the small piece of paper for the hundredth time. Room of Requirement, first floor, it said in silver letters. Harry knew exactly where to find it and made his way there as quickly as he could without being singled out.  
The door handle was already visible and Harry walked in. The room was large this time, equipped with a full ingredients cabinet and two tables already set with burners and cauldrons. He looked about the room, but he seemed to be alone. He chose the table on the right and began to take his things out of his bag.  
Suddenly, he heard the door slam and a tall woman with white blonde curls walked to the front of the room. She was wearing a dark blue Ravenclaw robe open over muggle jeans and a tight black tee. She smiled warmly to Harry and extended her hand to him.  
"My name is Alexandra," she said. "You may address me as that or Alex as I'm not really a professor by trade."  
"Then why are you teaching this class," Harry blurted. He blushed, ashamed at his boldness.  
Alex simply smiled. "I am quite adept at potion making and I heard of a couple of students who wanted to be Aurors. I also heard that my...that Professor Snape has been a little...hard on them but they could do an excellent job if given the chance."  
"Hard isn't quite the word I would use," Harry said defiantly. "I'd say the slimy git is so bloody hateful towards me just because my father, whom I've never met by the way, was a bit of a git himself! Like it's my fault my father was too bigheaded to understand a basic concept of non- prejudice!" Harry was a bit red in the face and his temper was rising again.  
Alex let off a bit of a giggle as she patted Harry on the arm. "Well Harry, one can hardly argue when you put it in those terms." She bent a little closer to him and softened her voice. "Have you told it to him like that before?"  
"As if he would ever give me a chance. When I accidentally saw his pensive and saw what my father did to him...I wanted to tell him that I would never," Harry spat the word never, "do such a thing to anyone. But he cast me out and..." he trailed off and shook his head. "It doesn't matter, really. These are just things I have to live with. The shadows of parents I will never know and don't remember."  
Suddenly a red-faced Neville entered the room and tossed his overly large bag on the other table. "Sorry," he said in a flustered voice, "I got lost...again."  
Harry shook his head but couldn't help but smile. "Neville, who would ever guess you wanted to be an Auror."  
"Well, my parents seemed to like it before..." he shrugged. "Thought I'd give it a go, see how it treats me."  
  
Harry and Neville worked hard at their class, Neville doing well without Snape hovering over him like an over-grown bat criticizing his every move. He even managed to brew three potions without mixing up anything.  
Alex was infinitely patient with the both of them, taking her time explaining the correct ingredients and the effects of each on the potion. She gave them a better understanding of why things had to be mixed in the correct fashion and timing. Harry was finally starting to understand what Snape had meant when he said potion making was a subtle science and exact art. He was even able to appreciate the beauty of a perfectly brewed potion.  
Apart from that class, however, Harry was still struggling with inner demons. He had taken to sneaking out of the common room at night and sitting by the lake. It was a soothing effect to watch the giant squid floating on the surface, going under and coming back up. It was like a silent rhythm that could soothe his intense feeling of anger and frustration.  
One night, however, Harry didn't spend his escape alone. He was sitting by the lake staring at the reflection of the half moon when he heard footsteps. He grabbed his invisibility cloak, preparing to dive for the trees when he heard the familiar voice call to him.  
"It's only me, Harry." Alex popped out from behind the tree and pointed to the ground, "This seat taken?"  
He shook his head. "By all means, sit."  
"I'm not here to bust you, Harry. I fancied a walk myself and I find night to be the best time to do it. Maybe it's the cool breeze, I don't know, but I can cope with my troubles much better out here."  
Harry blinked back tears and turned his gaze to the lake. "I thought I could cope with it all, but I don't know if I ever can."  
Alex put her hand on his shoulder. It was strangely comforting to him, in a motherly sort of way. "Harry, you have made amazing progress and have coped under stress that no boy should ever have to experience. You should reward yourself for that."  
He shrugged, "I can't think of anything that can make me happy anymore. Even the company of my friends seems more shallow and bitter than ever. They just keep telling me it will hurt less with time."  
Alex laughed and it sounded a little hollow, maybe bitter. "They have never experienced a loss as great as yours. Even if they were to lose their parents or siblings, it would never feel as empty as your pain feels. At least they had something to hold on to for all these years."  
Harry frowned up at her. "I've never heard someone say it like that. Those are the words I have been searching for."  
Alex sighed, "Harry, I can feel your soul screaming in pain even from my lonely room in the castle." She stood up, "I have a secret to share with you and a request to make."  
Harry stood with her and felt a little vulnerable. "I'm listening..."  
"I want you to go away with me, Harry. I want you to leave the castle and take a small trip with me. I know something that will help you with your...inner demons."  
  
The school was in an uproar. Dumbledore was absolutely beside himself with worry. No one knew where Harry had gone and Ron and Hermione could offer nothing.  
"We have no idea. He's been a bit sad lately but I don't expect he's run off," Hermione offered Dumbledore. "I don't see what could have happened."  
Dumbledore sat in his office with Ron, Hermione and Snape. The potions master was seething for some reason, but he wasn't letting it be known in front of the students. Finally Dumbledore sent the two Gryffindors to bed.  
"Anything, Severus," he asked weakly. "Do you know anything at all? I just don't see how Voldemort could have snatched him right from under our noses..."  
"Again," Snape offered menacingly.  
Dumbledore took the remark well. "Yes, again. I am well aware that we are not completely secure, but under the circumstances, I thought Harry was safe."  
"He may very well be," Snape said in an angry voice. "For Harry is not the only one missing."  
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, "Really?"  
Snape nodded and collapsed into a chair. "My wife is also gone."  
Dumbledore sat foreword, looking at Snape intently. "She wouldn't have taken him to..."  
Snape laughed harshly. "No, of course not. Knowing Alex, Harry has never been safer."  
  
Two months passed when Harry was seen again. He and Alex came walking in through the front gates and were greeted by several cheering faces. Hermione and Ron attacked Harry, unsure whether to kiss him or hit him. Severus pounded down the front steps and without caring who saw, gave his wife a big kiss.  
"I see you have come back to us," Dumbledore said in a slightly put out and slightly amused voice.  
Harry looked up at Dumbledore apologetically. "I have no real excuse, sir." He shrugged and looked at his friends who were all beaming. "There was just something I had to do, and a few things I had to learn."  
  
In the days to pass, Harry's attitude was different. He had seemed to mature nearly over night, or over the past two months. He greeted everyone with unprecedented warmth, and that included Malfoy and his gang of Slytherins.  
"Saint Potter," Draco sneered. "Skips school for two months and is welcomed back with open arms. If only we could all be so lucky." His voice reeked of sarcasm.  
Harry put his arm around Malfoy and smiled secretly. "I know you feel angry Draco, but your time will come."  
Draco spit and tantrumed at Potter, but Harry just smiled knowingly and went on his way. The next thing he did was sought out Snape. Harry had something to say to him and he wanted to do it in the middle of his class.  
He walked into a double potions lesson with first year Gryffindor and Slytherins. Snape was so taken aback, he said nothing as Harry approached his desk.  
"Hello," Harry said offering his hand, "my name is Harry Potter. Some people keep calling me James, but I can assure you, it's not." Without another word, Harry left the dungeon.  
From that day on, Harry seemed to have an appreciation for life. While he had been away, he had taken lessons in a muggle sport called Kenpo Karate. He had taken up a weapon called the Sai's and was always showing Ron and Hermione how to fight with them. He seemed to have gained some of his childhood innocence back and his friends could love him again.  
  
Epilogue  
Snape sat at the window watching Harry show his friends how to use his new weapon. He was watching the new smile on Harry's face and finally decided he was going to force his wife to tell him what she had done to him.  
Alex placed a large crystal ball on top of their kitchen table and stared into his eyes. "Severus, darling, I will show you but you must understand that what I did was for the greater good. I wont show you everything, but I will show you what changed Harry's way of life." She waved her hand and Severus was transported into the scene, much like a pensive.  
Alex and Harry were standing side by side in the small London flat. Harry was looking around curiously, but the emotion never quite reached his eyes. "I don't understand," he said to Alex.  
"Harry, I have the power to bring people from the past into the future. The only catch is, I can only hold on to them for a short fleeting moment, long enough to get an answer, but not long enough to truly know them."  
Understanding dawned on Harry's face. "My parents?"  
Alex nodded. "When they leave, I can't bring them back again, and they wont remember this meeting. Is this what you really want?"  
Harry thought for what seemed like forever. Finally he nodded, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know what to ask them."  
Alex closed her eyes and a moment later, the two young adults, Lily and James Potter appeared in the room. They jumped back from Alex and Harry and looked around, frightened.  
"What is this," James demanded, eyeing Alex suspiciously. "If this is some kind of Death Eater trick..."  
Alex held up her hand and spoke in a very sullen, commanding voice. "I have brought you here to the future. This is your son, Harry and you two are dead."  
The couple understood what she said, even though full understanding wasn't achieved. "This is Harry," Lily asked with a smile. "Amazing, he looks just like you, James."  
"Bit of a prankster, are you? Attending Hogwarts, then?"  
Harry's face fell and he looked at Alex, "No, this isn't what I wanted. They don't even care that they are dead and I had to be raised by my Aunt and Uncle Dursely."  
Lily and James both stopped talking about how much he looked like his father. "My sister raised you," Lily said with a stuck up nose. "Why didn't Sirius take you in?"  
"He was imprisoned for betraying your secret," Harry said in a choked voice. "Now he's dead."  
Their faces fell and Lily began to cry. "He can't be dead. He can't be!" She hugged her husband.  
Harry lost all concept of tact and began to yell. "That's all you care about?! I lost you to Voldemort and I was the sole survivor! I was stuck in some bloody awful muggle home forced to be starved and abused! Now I see you for the first time in my life and all you care is that Sirius is dead when you aren't even alive to see him die! Don't you care about me?!"  
James was taken aback. "You really cant be our Harry," he said finally. "We just put him to bed an hour ago. And Sirius just owled me and he's coming over tomorrow."  
Harry looked at Alex, "Make them go away." Alex did and took Harry into her arms. "You see Harry, you aren't like them. And if they had raised you, you'd be just like your father. But you aren't. You are like you, Harry and you need to find out what you...is really all about." 


End file.
